复杂的心情。。。

最近发现到很多身边的朋友都很不开心。让我不禁也回到了以前不开心的自己。我又再次的回到了那封闭自己，不想让别人知道自己在想设么的自己。。。我真的很不像要再次的回到那不开心的世界，但，不知不觉，我已再次的踏入了那个世界。。碰巧今天又看到了‘老朋友’的一些照片，真的让我控制不了自己的情绪。那些照片让我想起了以前中学不开心地回忆。我一直都很努力的把自己从不开心变成开心，可是，看来我四年的努力要白费了。。。四年前的我，总是面带笑容，装作很坚强，其实，又有谁会了解真正的我呢？那种感觉真的快把我给逼疯了。我真的希望可以逃离这一切，到一个没有人知道，每人认识我的地方。设么都不要想，过一个简简单单，开开心心的生活。。。

rainy day...

everyday is a rainy day at JB...hmm~dun knw how about my hometown and others place in this world...i am so boring,don't know what can i do.so i just listen to the music and typing this blog...perhaps i can start to do my assignment that make me suffocate,but,human being are always so lazy.hahahaha~so,ehem~what i want to do after finish typing is have a nice nap...that's all the nonsense that what i want to say or write or type...bye bye~i am coming my sweet dream... @_@

A brand new sem.....2nd year 2nd sem....

Is a new sem again....time just pass by so fast.1st day lecture,as usual,i was sharp on time when i reached the room...what has shocked me is my english lecturer,what a hardworking lecturer he is.he is already infront of me when i step into the room.anyway,it doesn't border me...what really make me feel sick is the assignment he gave to us.AN INDIVIDUAL ASSIGNMENT!!!oh my goodness...what should i do...i suddenly lose my way and really feel stressful...and it has to be done around 10 pages by hand written.on the same day,another assignment thrown down to us by another lecturer again...this is no better...a group assignment which we have to find a male group leader,an assignment that have to done more or less like a thesis..next day,which is today,a familiar lecturer,which is my former lecturer gave us another big assignment...have to find a case study and when to that place and interview that management department staff...huh~what a big project i have in this sem...another 2 subject to go.i really have to build up myself and let my heart stronger...anyhow,i just feel that i am a problematic girl,or somehow a choosy girl,i think...i don't know...but arghh...just let it be..i am just feeling so stress and need to write out some nonsense at here.. :)anyway,now my room outside is full of smelly smoke and i heard some thunder calling...so i have to quickly off my laptop... >.@

???

到底我是怎么了？哭了一整夜的我，以为一觉醒来一切都有所改变。。。但是事实证明我错了。一切都还是一样。。。心情还是如此的低落。是我不够用功吗？？？还是我读书时心不在意？？？我承认这半年来我一直都有在网上和朋友聊天，但这会对我人生有所改变吗？一直以来的我都常在网上和朋友聊天的啊。。。只是这位近几个月来跟我聊得比较多的是我班的一位同学。但我只是纯粹跟他聊聊天，打发时间而已。甚至觉得他只是一个聊得来的朋友。而且每次都是他主动先找我聊天的。我们聊的都是一些无聊的话题。这样子的一个朋友，难道在考试期间与他聊天也会影响到我的课业吗？到底我是怎么了？？？为何这个学期会如此的糟糕？？？无论如何，打从昨天起，他不在和我聊天了，我也不知道原因何在。但，我不会去想太多，接下来还有两张试卷要考，希望一切会有好传。。。加油吧！！！

MISS U FOREVER....R.I.P...

27/8/2009 THURSDAY RAINY DAY
having 2 test,IOP and statutory valuation...
suddenly,received a call during statut test...
something bad happened...
u leave us forever...
u have gone with the wind...
never came back again...
miss u so much...
we grow up together...
we play together...
we study together...
sometimes,we quarrel a bit...
but,we get back soon...
now,u and i are far apart...
what should i do when i think of u???
i will miss u forever...
never forget your face,
your smile,
your voice,
your eyes,
and everything of you...
R.I.P sis...
no worry,i will take good care of everyone that you care...

.......

at last can rest for a while.since i back from home,my labtop can't on9.so sad.but,hahaha yesterday suddenly can on9 ady.so happy.so today can on9 write some blog.
just back from city square with friends.sing k and having a very gan jiong movie(final destination 4)..what a happy day...but,everything goes damm after received a call from awpe...what a irresponsible people....
whatever,going back home 2mr...after raya break,left 3 weeks then is study week and final is coming...scary~~~ however,still not in te mod of study,still have a plan to sarawak...hehehe~~~
but but but....still have to do assignment during the break..a very difficult assignment..dun knw how to do....god!!!help pls~~~
however,have a happy holiday 1st then only think all that things la.... :D

3 bad and 1 good...

everything bad comes back again...i think to stop from this uni life......arrrrrr....if noy because of my situation right now,i really will quit everything and leave here as soon as possible...
1)i started hear some rumors about me again.i hate that so much..but what can do?i can't stop this from happening.why they always act like that?why they like to busybody about others private life?can't i just be alone?is it i really have to find a boy friend then only they will stop "worrying" me...what a childish coursemate i have...
2)yesterday half way meeting,i got a call from my mum.i was so curious why suddenly she phoned me using shun phone?she was crying...my sis has some problem again.she was so worried..and today she told me that doctor said she have to admitted to the hospital...hope everything will be alright soon...
3)assignment....no one want to start at all...u wait for me and i wait for u.what the point of waiting?no one knows and i can't border about that so much...
luckily there is still something nice happened too...2mr i'm going to do my assessment and get my O-level...hope everything will move on smoothly...hope utm equin center can import in more horses and i hope that one of it can be mine....my future partner....hahaha....cute horses i'm right here waiting for u.....

2nd year...

2nd year of uni life has started more than one week. The second week is going to end soon. Until now, everything was still alright. Everyone was happy, and everything was moving on smoothly. However, this coming saturday is the day we have to resit for our english exam. so scared... dun know what to do. and next week we are going to have our 1st law test. that was even worst. no preparation at all. no notes, dun understand what mr.razani teaching and main point-no mood to study...
my stress is coming again... T.T test, exam, assignment, competition, ko-q courses.... arghhhhhhhhh............ can't stand all this things. feel like want to run away from all this things and be alone in a place that no one knows about me.... but, no matter how i still have to face all those problems before i can run away to a place that i hope to go. so, angeline, be prepared, be brave enough and be strong enough and face all those problems.........
add oil...add oil...add oil... :D

A memorable day...

For me, yesterday was a very memorable day.
Early in the morning, my mum wake me up and said,"come,lets go to the new Giant shopping complex." Although i still feel very tired, but i still said ok and when there with my family. Just imagine that,8 o'clock in the morning, there already full of customer. There was so crowded. Almost can't get any extra oxygen. We spend almost 2 1/2 hours at there, then we come back with a car full of things.However, this was just a simple life style that everyone will go through when there is a big sale. Hahahaha...
Hmm.... My really memorable day only started right after i took my lunch. My parent fetch me to the butterworth jetty to took ferry to Penang. Alone, i went to the counter and put in RM1.20 and wait for the ferry. A few minutes later, there was a ferry and everyone walk to the gate standby to rush into the ferry. In the ferry, i sat alone in the middle of the ferry. During the journey, i saw one chinese guy styling his hair non-stop along the whole journey. However, maybe everyone will think that there is nothing wrong about styling own hair, but what he has did was after his non-stop styling, what he get was a very mess hair style. that was so funny that i almost laugh out loudly. Hahahahaha....
After i reach Penang jetty, my cousin brother came to fetch me to his house. Around 4.15p.m i changed my dress and we both went to fetch my cousin brother-in-law. After we took same food at a food court, we went to Air Itam. We stop right below Kek Lok Si and report ourself to a man who name Mr.Wong. He gave each of us a red rubber ban which means we have reported.
Sharp at 6p.m, we went up a bus provided by the Adventures Club, then we went to Balik Pulau. Everyone took their dinner at there and some of the aunty, uncle even enjoy eating durians before we start our hiking. Around 7.30p.m, we went to a church where we have to gather at 8p.m. When we went into the church, there were many people in the church singing some song.
At 8p.m, all of us took a photo together then, our hiking started. We have to hike from Balik Pulau to Air Itam by going through the forest with a narrow simented floor. All of us brought out our own touch light and started our excited journey.
Starting, the road was still ok. Not really bad and tough. But, as i said that was just the starting part. As we walk deeper, the road became more narrow and the surrounding became darker. After we walked for an half hour, the surrounding has became very dark until without touch light, we can't even saw our own fingers although it is just right infront of our eyes. The road was so steep and i even can feel that my heart was going to pop out in the next seconds. At that moment only i realise that what is Balai Cerapan? Balai Cerapan is nothing if compared with what i'm climbing now...
Until 9.15p.m, finally, we reach the top part. Everyone's tiredness just gone suddenly and feel so happy at that moment. "Haha, yeah, we have did it... We just gone through all the toughest part, and now we are standing on the top of the hill." Then we started to go down. Everyone was so happy and keep on discussing what to eat right after we reach Air Itam.
Around 10.30p.m, we reach the Air Itam dam, we took another photo. But that time those who sit down and took photo, face difficulties to stand up after the shooting. Haha... This is because everyone's legs need some rest. Our legs were so pain until we can't feel any feeling.
At 11p.m, finally we reach our destiny. Although it was really difficult in the beginning and my legs no longer have any feeling and i'm so tired, but still i felt very happy and satisfied because i have successfully face all those difficulties.
After i went back to my aunty's house, i think back those activities such as hiking, night walk, blind walk that i gone through during my school day was just a very small part. This hiking really bring me a lot of happiness and memorable journey. Hope i still manage to joint the up coming hiking in September... Another new night time hiking experience... Really dark, really steep and really fun hiking...
Hahahahahahhaha.... :)

我们

我们
曾经是陌生人
在巧合之下
我们
报读了同一间学院
虽然
念不一样的科系
但
我们
在一个朋友的介绍下
认识了彼此
我们
虽然
不多话
平时碰面也不常打招呼
但
我们
在宴会的来临之前
有了共同的话题
也在考试前夕
一起努力奋斗
如今
我们
分隔两地
我们
不在念同一间大学
但
我们
同样的联系上了那位朋友
就这样
相隔了一年的时间
我们
又联系上了彼此
在这里
希望
我们
可以永远保持联络。。。
但愿你夜里的天空不再寂寞。。。

what a boring holiday....

soooooooooo bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELP PLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so boring.frenz,did u all have any things fun for me to do?i'm going to die because of too boring...everyday doing the same things.repeat,repeat and keep on repeating...
wake up -> brush teeth -> on9 -> watching drama -> msn -> facebook -> sometimes blogging a bit -> off9... pls give some commend,will i b a 宅女 if i keep going on like this for another one month times.hahahahahaha.....
hope i won't be .oh god,pls give some work to do........
mushroom already grow all over my body... (T.T)

机会

机会不是常有的东西。所以当机会来到时，我们就要会把他给牢牢的捉着，不要眼睁睁的，白白的，让它在我们的手指缝中给溜走。。。
机会在我的生命中出现了很多次，但，每次都应自己的立场不够坚定，而白白的让他给溜走了。
在学业的生涯里，机会就在我中五毕业后陆陆续续得来了。第一次就是我写信申请当护士。我申请了两家医院，很幸运的，这两家医院都会了我的信，叫我去应证。可是在别人的三言两语之下，我就把这机会给放了，反过来选择了去读中六。之后，在读着中六时，一个可以到外国的机会，所以就申请了。很幸运的这难得的机会又再次的落在我手中了。当时我真的很开心。可是到最后还是因为自己读的不是政府学校而被列入waiting list。好伤心哦。。。后来，好不容易的终于中六毕业了。还记得有一次去education fair时，哇，当时的机会多得数不清呢。。。有空姐啦，飞机师啦，到国外深造啦，到Russia去念一科等等的。这些我都被录取了，可是因为大家都说念过大学，戴过四方帽才是最好的。而且，这个机会一生只有一次，叫我不要错过。可是，他们可有想过，以上的机会也是非常难得的啊。唉，就这样，现在就在大学里念这一个不知能不能成功毕业出来的科系。可是，我还是会努力的。希望可以成功毕业出来咯。。。哈哈哈哈。。。
另一方面，在工作里，中六毕业后，我申请了到云顶做receptionist，而且还得到了highland hotel的 receptionist哦。这可不容易也。因为通常他们都把那些来做part time的员工派到first world去的。因为那边比较缺人手。可是后来我采取了第一天，隔天就去辞职不做了。好笑吗？？？或许是自己不适应那边的生活吧。。。没有朋友的陪伴，宿舍有很恐怖，家里有发生很多事，所以，那次的失败，让我留下了一个阴影。到现在，口口声声说要去找假期工,可到现在都还不敢去应征,或许自己还在害怕吧。。。可是，不管怎样，我还是必须勇敢的从这阴影里走出来，所以呢，我明天就要去应征咯，希望可以成功。
加油吧！！！:)

伤心的第二个学期？

第二学期总算接续了。。。好难熬的一个学期哦。。。
学期才刚开始， 周围就发生了很多不开心的事。虽然一部分已经忘了，但刚发生不久的依然不断的在我脑海里浮现着。还记得刚开始study week时，朋友问了我一个问题。他们问我是不是对一个男生有好感？当时我默认了。当时我以为我真的对他有了感觉。之后又听到他和别的女生走得很密时，我真的很难过，很伤心。那感觉或许就是失恋的感觉吧！！！那阵子我真的不知道该怎么办才好。考试期间也不断的一直在想。看到他们我又不竟的伤心起来了。
以前当同学们开始传我和他的绯闻时，我就一直告诉自己不可对他有任何的感觉。因为毕竟我们是没有可能会有结果的。可是，因朋友们不断的开玩笑让我开始想要多了解他。在那期间我不停的堤醒自己必须停下来，要不然我迟早有一天我一定会喜欢上他的。就这样子反反复复的过了很久。直到最近回家了，得空了，在仔细的想想，其实我并没有对他有感觉。只是可能当时不知怎么搞得觉得自己对他有了感觉。所以，现在不管朋友们还会不会那我们来开玩笑，我也不在意了。
可是，最伤心得还是因为男生们一次好玩，让我失去了一个可能可以成为朋友的同学。现在更因为他和别的女生有绯闻而让我又再次的失去了一班原本见面会对彼此微笑的朋友。咳~好难过哦。。。。
不过，这一切已经过去了。希望新的学期会有新的开始。加油吧！！！:)

one week trip

just back from one week trip with my couresmate.we went to penang island,langkawi and sungai petani.although tired but feel happy,meaningful and unforgettable.hahaha...
penang trip:
we went to sleeping buddha temple,Myanmar temple,gurney drive,kek lok si,penang hill(just pass by a while),youth park,botanical garden,gurney plaza,queensbay and others to have our lunch.just imagine we kill all those place in 2 days.how clever are us...hahahaha.......
langkawi trip:
what a oh my god trip.just sit on the van we rented and do around the whole langkawi island.we are so unlucky that we did not have the chance to went up to gunung mat cincang by cable car due to some technical problem.Haiz~but at least we still bought a lot of chocolate(my favourite)from the duty free shop.hahaha....
last station,sungai petani trip:
hmmm....what a familiar place.we(northern part friends) slept around 5a.m in that night.at 1st all said sleepy,want to sleep.but after one of our friend though us how to play rami(a type of pocker card game)we play until 5a.m...what a nice game,just imagine that.before that we still planning want to take others have their breakfast at 2 different place,but at last we end up our game so late and all of us only woke up around 11.30 to 12.30p.m.
that are our one week trip...hope that we still can organize such a trip next time but going to others place...hahahaha......

Second day of study week...

Today is my second day of study week. But i still haven't started my revision...
Today i have drawn twice for the surveying plan. Why? Is it i didn't concentrate when i draw? Even when i draw the second plan i also write the wrong word. But i didn't dare to trouble my friend to take me another piece of tracing paper. So, i just left it wrongly...
Half way when i draw my second plan, my mummy call me. From the voice i hear through the phone, i guess she is crying because of my sister again... But what can i do? I'm not a doctor or even a magician who can cure her illness. She is going to sit for her test in this coming June and she is having her test in this few day. She felt very stress. But all those stress is come from her. No one give her any stress.
Another thing, i think she is getting ill. She started to still money even though now not only my mummy is giving her pocket money but my daddy also giving her pocket money... Why she do so? Doesn't she know that what she doing is wrong? Doesn't she know that her action will make her family members more hurt? Who can tell me? Who can give me the answer? Who can help me?
The answer is NO ONE!!! No one can help me or her. Only she, herself can help her. Everyone told me that this need to take time, but do you think that she still has time?
TIME? TIME? TIME? Can a person who as skinny as a skeleton spend any extra time to cure the illness that no one can cure? I scared before she can cure herself; her time has come to an end...

疑惑的第一次。。。

第一次写部落格应该感到高兴还是伤心呢？
高兴，因为第一次尝试不一样的东西。
伤心，因为发生了一些不高兴的事所以才开始写部落格。。。
大家都说大学的生活很轻松，但，我却不这么认为。。在大学将近一年的生活里，让我看到了很多不一样的人格。。。
外表冷酷，但却有颗善良的心，乐于助人。。
外表热情，但时常暗算别人。。
外表友善，但却恶人先告状,常常认为别人亏待他。。
不过，哈哈哈哈。。。还好，我身边还有这么一班一直在我身边鼓励我的朋友。所以，有时我还是感到很庆幸因为有他们在身边。
或许，我不应该一直往不好的方面去想这些事情，反而，应该要学会往多方面想吧。。。