一个单身的女孩，当她遇上了一个喜欢她的他，她会幸福吗？会快乐吗？还来不及感受到被追求，就已经开始恋爱的两个人会开心，幸福的走下去吗？女孩或许刚开始时不在乎这些，但女孩真的能永远都不在乎吗？开始时，女孩真的可以不在乎这些。就连会不会得到旁人的祝福她都可以不理。女孩觉得只要他们俩彼此相爱就够了。但日子久了，女孩开始在乎这一切一切。女孩开始在乎男孩对她说的每一句话，旁人说的每一句话。女孩为了让男孩和她身边的每一个人开心，不断的去达到别人的要求。就算要女孩牺牲自己就想要的东西，女孩也在所不惜。女孩也渐渐的开始觉得自己活在世上是为了让别人开心，完成别人的要求。可是，女孩却常常告诉自己不要去在意这些事情。不过，在不知不觉中，每当到了入眠前夕，那些女孩不想在乎的事情又一一的浮现出来。每晚女孩总是在泪流满面的情况下入眠。有时，女孩甚至怀疑自己得了忧郁症。女孩想把不开心的东西都告诉男孩，却又担心男孩听后会有设么反应，所以女孩只好选择一直把这一切的不开心深深的埋在自己的心理。

在等待英文的当儿，无聊的我突然想到这里写写一些东西。。
现在已经是凌晨三点了，我还在等，看来今晚时不用睡觉了。那，明天的课如何呢？翘课吗？还是去班上睡觉呢？还不懂。。天亮了在打算吧！！！哈哈哈哈。。
今年算是过了一个不这么开心的新年吧。家里突然少了两个人，整个气氛都不一样了。我一直很后悔，为何要来那么远读书？在家乡读不就好咯。。他们离开的时候我都不在他们的身边，就连最后一面（婆婆）都没见到。。虽然，婆婆从来没有疼爱过我和姐姐，也没有承认我们是他的孙女，但，他依然是我唯一的婆婆。所以，随着年龄的增长，我也开始懂事，不再像以前恨他，相反的，有时回去，还会去关心和照顾他。可是现在已经没有这个机会了。人是不是总是要在失去了才懂得珍惜？无论如何，希望他可以到一个快乐的地方。

i miss my sis a lot ~~~

the day before yesterday, i dreamed about my sister. saw she waving her hand to me just like saying good bye to me. after i woke up, i cried. whenever i think of her, i feel really sad and cried non-stop. i really miss her a lot and a lot lot lot~ today, in class, i lost control again. i cried infront of my friends... i really hope that i can control myself, but i failed to do that...why??? it is just a simple things. my emotion was really unstable today. i started to cried suddenly and thinking non-sense. sometimes i feel really suffering and need someone to talk to. but somehow when i try to talk to someone, i just can't speak out. maybe because i scared my friends will feel it is very irritating... that why whenever i feel like going to burst, i will start blogging. in the end, my blog was full with sad story~ T.T
what should i do to let my life better and happier??? this few days were really tiring me and i really give up in everythings. but no matter how, i still have to pretend to be ok infront of my friends and settle all the assignment..hope i can cope in my study and be a happy girl....

复杂的心情。。。

最近发现到很多身边的朋友都很不开心。让我不禁也回到了以前不开心的自己。我又再次的回到了那封闭自己，不想让别人知道自己在想设么的自己。。。我真的很不像要再次的回到那不开心的世界，但，不知不觉，我已再次的踏入了那个世界。。碰巧今天又看到了‘老朋友’的一些照片，真的让我控制不了自己的情绪。那些照片让我想起了以前中学不开心地回忆。我一直都很努力的把自己从不开心变成开心，可是，看来我四年的努力要白费了。。。四年前的我，总是面带笑容，装作很坚强，其实，又有谁会了解真正的我呢？那种感觉真的快把我给逼疯了。我真的希望可以逃离这一切，到一个没有人知道，每人认识我的地方。设么都不要想，过一个简简单单，开开心心的生活。。。

rainy day...

everyday is a rainy day at JB...hmm~dun knw how about my hometown and others place in this world...i am so boring,don't know what can i do.so i just listen to the music and typing this blog...perhaps i can start to do my assignment that make me suffocate,but,human being are always so lazy.hahahaha~so,ehem~what i want to do after finish typing is have a nice nap...that's all the nonsense that what i want to say or write or type...bye bye~i am coming my sweet dream... @_@

A brand new sem.....2nd year 2nd sem....

Is a new sem again....time just pass by so fast.1st day lecture,as usual,i was sharp on time when i reached the room...what has shocked me is my english lecturer,what a hardworking lecturer he is.he is already infront of me when i step into the room.anyway,it doesn't border me...what really make me feel sick is the assignment he gave to us.AN INDIVIDUAL ASSIGNMENT!!!oh my goodness...what should i do...i suddenly lose my way and really feel stressful...and it has to be done around 10 pages by hand written.on the same day,another assignment thrown down to us by another lecturer again...this is no better...a group assignment which we have to find a male group leader,an assignment that have to done more or less like a thesis..next day,which is today,a familiar lecturer,which is my former lecturer gave us another big assignment...have to find a case study and when to that place and interview that management department staff...huh~what a big project i have in this sem...another 2 subject to go.i really have to build up myself and let my heart stronger...anyhow,i just feel that i am a problematic girl,or somehow a choosy girl,i think...i don't know...but arghh...just let it be..i am just feeling so stress and need to write out some nonsense at here.. :)anyway,now my room outside is full of smelly smoke and i heard some thunder calling...so i have to quickly off my laptop... >.@

???

到底我是怎么了？哭了一整夜的我，以为一觉醒来一切都有所改变。。。但是事实证明我错了。一切都还是一样。。。心情还是如此的低落。是我不够用功吗？？？还是我读书时心不在意？？？我承认这半年来我一直都有在网上和朋友聊天，但这会对我人生有所改变吗？一直以来的我都常在网上和朋友聊天的啊。。。只是这位近几个月来跟我聊得比较多的是我班的一位同学。但我只是纯粹跟他聊聊天，打发时间而已。甚至觉得他只是一个聊得来的朋友。而且每次都是他主动先找我聊天的。我们聊的都是一些无聊的话题。这样子的一个朋友，难道在考试期间与他聊天也会影响到我的课业吗？到底我是怎么了？？？为何这个学期会如此的糟糕？？？无论如何，打从昨天起，他不在和我聊天了，我也不知道原因何在。但，我不会去想太多，接下来还有两张试卷要考，希望一切会有好传。。。加油吧！！！